Microflaccid

Adopt this domain name.
(NEW as of 4 March 2007)

Introduction

31 December 2005

This site started as The Official Microflaccid Web Page, mentioned in the September 18th, 2002 story, "Microsoft tops Google hell search rankings," at The Register, and in Computerworld a week later: "Google Search Leads to Gates of 'Hell.'" My favorite nickname for Microsoft is "M$" -- apt because their greed outshines any virture they may claim to possess, and they do it more blatantly and more obnoxiously than any other company. Another disparaging nickname for the company is a compound word that was not found in a Google search: Microflaccid. I originally created a Web page so there'd be at least one hit. Now there are a number of references, but this page remains at the top of Google's list (and most likely will remain there, since I now own microflaccid.com :).

I was inspired to create this page at the beginning of the year 2000 after googling for the Antichrist. The third hit on that day was www.microsoft.com. Searching for "the most evil company on earth" returned it as the #1 hit! [1] That was evidence that Microsoft was held in negative regard (to put it diplomatically) by a tremendous number of Web site content producers. Including me. Even though Microsoft has now fallen off the top ten list, there are no fewer enemies of the Evil Empire.

More

Humor

There are already plenty of "I Hate Microsoft" pages [2], so my small contribution to the genre is the inclusion here of one of my favorite M$ jokes (author unknown but seen at several other places on the 'Net). Here are the top ten reasons why Hell is better than M$ Windows Software Development.

  Hell M$ Windows Software Development
10. It never ends. You think you're almost done, but you never really finish.
9. You burn forever, but are not consumed. Each update introduces new and improved tortures, which slowly consume you.
8. Your fate is in the hands of Satan, Prince of Darkness. Your fate is in the hands of Gates, Prince of Incompatibility.
7. Satan gives you something you want in return for being damned. Gates makes you buy Windows XP.
6. It is avoidable; an attractive, widely-marketed alternative is available. Resistance is futile. The U.S. Federal Government has declared it as a finding of fact: Microsoft is a monopoly.
5. It is free. You pay, and pay, and pay just to stay in the game.
4. Satan was once an angel. Gates started by writing a BASIC interpreter.
3. Hell has no Windows. Microsoft does.
2. You only pass the Gates of Hell one time. The Gates of Microsoft keeps popping up everywhere you look.
1. Satan genuinely believes in the triumph of Evil. Gates just does it for the money. [Actually, it could be argued that Gates also does it because he genuinely believes in the triumph of Evil embodied in the form of unrepairable, unmodifiable closed source [3] software all created by his company. - tbc]

In Closing

I feel obliged to give plugs for John Lettice at The Register for his September 18th, 2002 story, "Microsoft tops Google hell search rankings," and for Linda Rosencrance, Computerworld, author of "Google Search Leads to Gates of 'Hell,'" dated a week later [4]. I was quoted only as the author. They probably couldn't get ahold of me because this page listed an obsolete e-mail address for me. That's fixed now. Journalists who wish to contact the author of this page can do so by writing to Tim Chambers (tim+main@microflaccid.com).

Footnotes

[1] It dropped off Google's list sometime after that. I'm using Google Alert to watch for changes, but if you happen to notice a change, let me know. [back]

[2] I used to link to the Anti-Microsoft Web Ring, but I noticed that they are polluted with popup ads. [back]

[3] "Closed source" is the opposite of "open source" -- it is software for which the source code is not available under licenses guaranteeing anybody rights to freely use, modify, and redistribute the code. See proprietary. [back]

[4] Also see my Kuro5hin diary entry. [back]

This site is maintained with considerable help from Linux, Cygwin, GNU Emacs, Mozilla, and CSS (mine | Wikipedia).

Last Updated: 3 January 2006
Copyright © 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2006. Tim Chambers, tim+main@microflaccid.com, http://alum.mit.edu/www/tbc/ 1E4AF729D5CEFFD0. All Rights Reserved.

[Powered by Red Hat ] [Powered by Apache]




















This space intentionally left blank so element links work better.